USS ECLIPSE - NEW MEMBER
Location: Counseling Office
Akane came to the ship free of stress and worries, but all that had changed when she had her first tour out. All of the attacks and invasions on the ship, and having to help people who had had various mental fall outs from the various missions had gotten to her...and Akane had found it harder and harder to focus. She did do her best to help others - she was proud of that, but having to hide her true nature whilst also seeing what PTSD could do to others had changed her so much.
Worst of all, she had almost committed the cardinal sin of sleeping with another woman while she was still a married woman. Luckily for Akane, she was out of practice on hitting on women. Scratch that, she had never been good at it. She had just been lucky that the first woman she proposed to loved her too. But either way, Ayumi had returned to her just when Akane had needed her most. And although she had had to suffer lots of scoldings and yellings... the late nights in her arms had more than made up for it.
And now... Akane was back in her game....and having her wife and kids by her side made it much easier to keep hope in her heart.
However, not all of her friends were in the same shape. As it was, one of her dearest friends, Captain Bark, seemed in dire need of guidance and care.
She touched her com patch, took a deep breathe and said. "Captain Bark. This is Lieutenant Kitsune... Would you be free to meet up with me for a short while?" She waited for him to reply, and made sure to make sure that her request did not come off as calling him for a counselling session, in case he was currently with any other staff at the time.
Chris heard the call and he answered saying, "I'll be right there. This is a good time as any." He then left his quarters and made his way to her office. He was shakey and felt completely off. He then rang the chime for the door. He was nervious, more then he wanted to admin. One thing was that he wasn't a Captain for a while. Hearing that brought memories back to him.
"Come in..." Akane smiled as he came in, and started her soft music in the background, the kind that the Captain had said before that he had liked. "Won't you come in and have a seat. How are you feeling, my friend?"
Chris headed over to the chair by the counselor and took a seat. He smiled and said, I've been better. The last mission I realized my age in a sufficient way, that I didn't like at all. I also tried to kill someone. I don't feel great about that at all."
Akane softly touched his hand gently.. "We all have to face the aging issue...one of the sad truths of life. And well..the moment the idea of taking someone's life doesn't bother you, is the moment you have become a true monster. Could you start from the beginning?"
Chris started and said, "We were in the jungle area of the planet, Commander Byrns heard something and told me to be ready. I was sweating profusely. The mean jumped out of the forest and Byrns reacted quickly. I was seeing what I could do, but there were three of them and they were fast. I saw a blade strike the commander and I started to panic. I then saw an opportunity to strike, I didn't expect to impale him like I did, but he had threatened my team and I wasn't having it. I mustered all of my strength and impaled him. I was angry and scared!" Chris let out a breath.
She listened quietly, not saying anything, letting him get the story out....and his feelings.
"Understand that fear is not a bad sign. There was once a story where a son asked his father, a great warrior, 'Father, can a man ever be brave if he is scared?' To which the great warrior gravely replied, 'Son, that's the only time a man CAN truly be brave.' Bravery is thus, not a lack of fear, but the ability to act despite. And we are all slaves to emotion..the fight and flight impulses, they live on in all of us...whether we would like to admit it or not.."
She then paused, "What happened after that? Please continue."
"I saw the blood dripping and I realized what I had done. I couldn't believe what I had done and that it was done. A second assailant had come out of the works and which point I stunned him, I didn't want to kill someone else, and then we beamed back to the ship." Chris was breating rapidly now
She softly put her hands on his shoulder and gently said a healing mantra...and then said. "You are on your ship. You are safe. Your crew is safe. You are respected and have saved your crew many times. But...you are human.... and you are expected to react fast so the lives you are charged with are kept protected."
Chris placed his head down and said, "I know, but I've never seen someone die up close like that, and I was the reason that they died. It's too much!" A single tear started to roll down his face."
She pulls him slowly over to her...and places his head on her chest. "Let out...Let it all out...let the emotions wash all over you..."
Chris was sobbing like a baby in her bosom. He couldn't stand it, but he couldn't stop either. He just crying and crying. While he was sobbing he said, "I should have better control over my emotions. I have seen death before, but NEVER like this. I can't believe I'm crying like this!!!"
She held him softly..and just let him get it out. This was necessary...this was important....and at times like this... nothing else mattered to the woman until he was done - he had all the time in the world. She remained silent..hoping the music and the incense would help to relax him further...but she said nothing more for now.
Chris kept sobbing like a baby and was able to compose himself. He managed to wipe his tears and he just sat for minute and relaxed, his nose was still sniffling, but he did feel better, he looked at the counselor and starting balling again. He was shocked! He held his hands to his face and leaned down again. He cried for another couple of minutes and sat up again. He looked at her and asked, "Do you need to see me again, Counselor?"
Akane smiled at him gently. "You'll know if you need to. Just remember, if you ever do, my door will always be open to you..okay?" She held him close....patting his back softly.
He was feeling better and comforted. He felt better and safe with her. He collected himself and said, "Thank you. I feel so much better." Chris said
She smiled at him. "Good....but know that you can come when ever you need it..." She stood up and waited for him to leave, if he so wished."
Chris said, "Thank you, Counselor. I appreciate your time." Chris headed for the door.
Akane walked him to the door and touched his arm softly. "Anytime.... you've got a friend in me..." She smiled and watched him leave.